A friend of mine had a miscarriage recently. I only found out the second day she was on medical leave. That made me feel so lousy. I didn't know how to comfort or console her. She puts up a brave front but I'm sure she's hiding all her pain. This is not the first time she's gone through this and I can only say that my heart is with you.
It doesn't matter how long you've been carrying the baby when it happens, the hurt is still the same. More so when you have been hoping for one.
Two days after I confirmed my second pregnancy, I started bleeding. This is always an ominous sign. I rushed to the hospital straight away. I was admitted that evening. Before my gynae came to see me later that night, no one would tell me if anything was wrong. They told me I had to be admitted in order for them to run further tests. Nobody answered when I asked .. Is my baby okay? When my gynae finally arrived, she broke the news to me. There is no hope for the baby. There's bleeding inside your womb. I will perform a D & C tomorrow. I broke down. And cried and cried. She tried to comfort me saying I was still young and could always try again.
Although the pregnancy was not planned, I was crushed that I would not have a chance to hold her in my arms. I would never know her. I would never see her. However, my little girl was a fighter. She clung on for dear life and last month, she's just celebrated her first birthday. Sometimes when I look at her, I remember that night in the hospital and I thank Allah for letting me have my precious girl.
During that period, I was given a long medical leave because I had to go for hormone injections to help the baby stay in my womb. I stayed at home and refused to answer any calls from my friends. I was depressed and didn't want anyone to know the situation. I must have offended some of them at that time but I hope they understand.
Dearest friend, I'm not going to tell you that you can always try again or that it's just not meant to be. But, put your trust in the Almighty and have faith that everything will turn out well in the end. My prayers are with you and I am here if you need me.
5 comments:
This made me cry... Hey babe, If i can be so thick skinned and assume that you were blogging about me a bit, THANX. It hurts, if given the chance i'd rather crawl under my blanket and just sleep it all away. I realise now how you felt when you almost lost nurin.I know how it felt to not want to speak to any one. To go back to work and then get incredulous expressions like 'eh, you mean you didn't know?' makes me upset. Sekali aku cepuk orang orang ni... Maybe I should do a 'Hazlina'? Go to IMH and say I'm depressed....hmmm..... *wink*. Anyhow babe, thanx again. Comforting to know that someone cares.
UBat periuk...makcik tukang urut...anybody???
Alamak .. didn't know I was so touching! But seriously, if I felt so terrible, you must be feeling a million times worse. I think women are very strong people, we have to endure so much ... any woman would endure any kind of pain and spend any amount of money to have a baby. It's just an innate nature in us I suppose.
Please ... don't do a Hazlina, scary mary!!!!
I got one .. same as zak's. You pregnant is it?
HUH!Me pregnant peleaseeeee..I single...
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