Dirty Talk

Last Tuesday I finally posted off the application for my kids' passports. What a relief! I've been postponing it for ages. Now that the entire family is in possession of passports, a whole new world of possibilities have opened up. We can go overseas! Yay! But this brings me to one of my pet peeves - having clean toilets to pee in.

I refrain from going across the causeway for 2 (people say they are irrational) reasons. The first
is the fear of walking back to the carpark and discovering that the car has been stolen. The other one is the near impossible task of finding a clean restroom. I shudder even now when I recall the less than desirable loos that I have encountered there. And I am not even talking about coffeeshop type of loos.

I have been to a shopping centre where the stink of the toilet was so bad I considered holding my pee till I got home. And mind you, I have not not even seen the toilet yet. But the situation was rather desperate, I really had to go .. so I thought never mind, just hold my breath. Then I turned the corner and finally saw the state of thet loo. It was FLOODED! And the other ladies (locals I presume) were nonchalantly wading in the foot deep water. First it was STINKY and then it was FLOODED and god only knows what mysterious contents await in the water! So I forgoed the toilet expedition and held my pee till I found a erm more conducive surroundings.

Then there was the time that I went to this beach. It was about a 2 hours drive away. We had loads of fun there, with all my cousins. When the time came to change, I headed for the changing rooms, these really cute little huts. I didn't need to use the toilet, so I was safe .. or so I thought. There was a funny smell when I entered the changing room. And after a closer inspection I noticed this strange looking mound in the corner. It was a pile of POO! Mind you this is not a toilet, it's a changing room, for you to change in .. not for shitting in! Some people are just way too disgusting. I changed in the car after that.

That's not the end of my toilet woes. I believe in giving people second or even third chances. A couple of years ago, my 2 darling pals and myself decided to have a really yummy lunch at this hotel. We had everything planned out. We took a cab so that no cars were stolen while we were enjoying the truly delicious dim sum buffet (and therefore I could eat in peace). But there was a problem I did not foresee. Lunch meant drinking water. And that leads to my 2nd worry ... clean restrooms. But you might say, it's a hotel for goodness sake! Well, I sent in the two ladies with me since they were not so fussy or maybe they just had to go very badly .. you know what they say 'When you got to go, you got to GO!'. Anyway, they reported back less than satisfactory conditions. And mind you, this is in a HOTEL for goodness sake! If you can't find clean toilets in a hotel, you won't find them ANYWHERE!

Now it looks like we'll be over for a vistit soon. Maybe the conditions have improved tremendously since I last visited. But, I'll make sure I don't drink a single drop of water. Or I'll just hold it in ... as usual. Good bladder exercise eh ... will get to strengthen all those muscles down there!